Seriously?

Like most people, I wasn’t exactly thrilled with the bands that were involved with the closing ceremonies to the Winter Games Sunday night. Inward Eye, Simple Plan, Hedley, Nickelback and Avril Lavigne to close out the biggest international sporting event held in Canada in over 22 years? Horrible.

It’s not a matter of personal taste, either. While yes, I’m not a fan of any of the bands/performers listed (and in one case, had never even heard of Inward Eye) the decision to include these folks was mind boggling.

Canada has been getting talked up as this incredible musical meccha and has been churning out a ton of remarkable artists over the years. Rolling Stone and Spin magazine both did features on Canadian music back when the Arcade Fire first blew up internationally. There’s a ton of great artists out there and yet we’re stuck with Avril Lavigne singing ‘Girlfriend’?

That’s the biggest problem I have with the performers. Sure, if those performers have a song that could fit in thematically with the Olympics, by all means, go hog wild. But what in the hell does ‘Girlfriend’ have to do with the Olympics? What does Nickelback’s ‘Burn It To The Ground’, a song that serves as the opening theme for WWE’s Monday Night Raw show, have to do with the Olympics? Hell, what does Nickelback, the most ‘American’ Canadian band in the world (read: creatively, intellectually bankrupt, self-described as being ‘the McDonald’s of music’) have to do with Canada?

Nothing, that’s what. It was a stupid attempt at pushing merchandise. Given the amount of crap hockey goalies were given for including corporate logos on their masks, I’m amazed that such a brazen sales attempt made it past the IOC. I was expecting Sugar Jones to take the stage at any moment, then I realized that Sugar Jones were a product of a Global television show, so no, they wouldn’t have appeared. But it didn’t stop Eva Avila from appearing (gotta plug CTV’s Canadian Idol, after all!)

As for Simple Plan and Hedley? They’re jokes, artistically and financially. It doesn’t hurt that both of them are complete shills for CTV, who also own MuchMusic and MTV. Hedley, of course, features Jacob Hoggard, another Canadian Idol alumni, so it was almost a given that they would appear in some capacity seeing as how they also hail from British Columbia.

Simple Plan, well, they’ve been cozy with CTV for ages. Recall how they had that godawful ‘reworking’ of the classic Hockey Night In Canada theme? Or how there are contests involving Simple Plan and CTV?

The running joke with those two was that if you had an event, be it a liquor store opening, a bar mitzvah, the MMVAs or something else, either one of them will be there with bells on, because they literally have nothing else to do. So, congratulations on your years of servitude, guys. Your song selections (’Love Is A Lie’, ‘Cha Ching’) really embodied the Olympic spirit, as well as serving as something that totally embodies Canada.

That said, I have to say that including Alanis Morissette and Neil Young were good calls. I’m not a huge fan of Alanis, but she definitely belongs in the list of top Canadian performers in the past two decades or so. Neil Young was a perfect (ableit surprising) inclusion, as the guy is a living legend. He represents Canadian music of the past and his song ‘Long May You Run’ actually worked incredibly well thematically for both the Olympics and the closing ceremonies.

The fact that there were so many great performers overlooked really grates on my nerves. I can’t imagine that in a country that boasts so many great musical artists and performers that none of them couldn’t have made themselves available for the closing ceremonies. Who?

Well, the obvious choice for me would’ve been the Tragically Hip. Can you name a more blatantly Canadian group out there? (The Barenaked Ladies, maybe.) ‘The Lonely End Of The Rink’ would’ve been a great way to cap off the women’s and men’s gold medal wins.

What about Metric? ‘Gimme Sympathy’ could’ve been a barnburner.

Arcade Fire? They were ‘only’ just featured in that Spike Jonze flick and are one of the bigger Canadian bands out there.

The New Pornographers? They’re BC based and just wrapped up a new album, so they could’ve been available.

Sloan? One of the bigger groups of the 90s who are still going strong. ‘If It Feels Good Do It’ could’ve been another good Olympic anthem.

Tom Cochrane? If you have Bryan Adams, there’s no reason to overlook Tom Cochrane.

Rush? They have the credentials and blow Simple Plan out of the water in terms of talent, staying power and the like.

City and Colour? I hate them, but they’d be another superior choice, as I can appreciate what they do.

K’Naan? Bedouin Soundclash? The Stills? The Trews? Arkells? Malajube? Joel Plaskett? Sam Roberts? Your favorite band that I completely forgot about?

So many great artists and this is what we got. A Superbowl halftime show, Canada style: safe and saccharine with a giant inflatable beaver. If Vancouver was attempting to create a closing ceremonies that served as an exclamation mark, an ‘THIS IS CANADA’ statement to end the Winter Games, they failed miserably by making such a horribly Americanized closing segment. Worse, the closing ceremonies came off as looking way, way too old. Canadians were hoping for Conan O’Brien: hip, cool, something to be proud of. Instead, we got Jay Leno: old, contrived, boring.

Yeah, I’m probably losing my mind here over what is essentially an inconsequential television program. But Canadian music is something I’m passionate about. I think Canada has a ton of great artists and performers, Vancouver being one of those great hotbeds for Canadian music. There are government programs, like FACTOR, that have been able to help out artists who haven’t established themselves and there have been so many great stories in the past couple of years that it frustrates me so much to see the route CTV took.

The music industry is rapidly moving in a new direction, iTunes have seen to that. It’s moving past the force-fed, you must listen to this as you have no choice that the industry has largely consisted of for the past 60+ years. Despite what music guru Alan Cross says, we don’t need Nickelback. Or Avril. Or Simple Plan. Or anyone else for that matter. The industry is largely one that is niche-filled and fragmented, almost multicultural, distinctively Canadian. It’s moving away from the large melting pot of American music.

The closing ceremonies could’ve been a great way to show that Canadian music is progressive, that Canadian music is a part of the future, not a relic of the past. They blew it.

So the Canucks are set to play their first home game after going on the road for four. Since we’ll be seeing a game in GM Place, chances are good we should be hearing a now familiar sound should the Canucks score a goal.

I am, of course, talking about the Woo. Started up by the Canucks sound guy, DJ Dave, the ‘Woo’ was apparently some sort of in-joke involving a soundboard based off of ‘Runnin’ With The Devil’ by the David Lee Roth fronted version of Van Halen. Despite widespread belief, it’s not an imitation of wrestler Ric Flair’s infamous ‘Woo!’ which has caught on down in Carolina for Hurricanes games (Flair himself calls Charlotte, NC home.) I originally thought it was a tribute to the woos Alex Burrows and some other members of the Canucks were doing last season after wins, but apparently not.

Lots of people hate the Woo. They are wrong, and what’s worse, they hate everything that is good and pure in the world. They are people of questionable moral fibre and I doubt their commitment to Sparkle Motion the Canucks. But that’s not important. What is important is that the Woo is something that I like and that it’s something that may actually be useful for the Canucks.

Useful to the Canucks. Okay, what the hell am I talking about here?

I’m a big proponent of crowd interaction at sporting events. Soccer games probably have the best instance of this, with chants, hooligans and sometimes even riots breaking out (and yet HOCKEY is the sport with a ‘violent’ reputation…) due to fans going crazy.

I think it can be useful for a team to have the crowd behind them, sometimes it can spark the team. Other times, it can intimidate the opposing team. Folks have heard how ‘hard’ it is for teams to enter the Pengrowth Saddledome: a bunch of people in Red and some yahoo with a trumpet apparently makes for an ‘intense atmosphere.’

There’s also the Bell Centre, where some players get intensely viewed by the Montreal Canadiens faithful. There’s also the ‘Ole’ chants they’ve got going, as well as other things like booing the national anthem and generally being loud as hell.

Finally, for any diehard Canuck fan, the Fratellis will forever remain a hated group due to ‘Chelsea Dagger’, which plunged through the hearts of oh-so-many Canucks fans during the playoffs last year.

For those of you who hate the woo, think of how much the teams coming in to play at GM Place hate hearing the fans go ‘Woo’ every time the Canucks score. Sure, these are professionals, who have put up with jeering and booing and the such, but the woo is something different, which makes it harder to ignore, especially when it’s being done in full force by the fans in GM Place. It’s just one out of many, many things that Canucks fans are doing to make playing in GM Place that much harder. Because honestly, GM Place SHOULD be a pain in the ass for visiting teams and they should be getting it from all angles: on the ice, in the stands, maybe taking a page out of the Ottawa Senators and poisoning opponents pregame meals. Not sure if David Spreight would be on board with having his meals interfered with, though.

There’s the annoying (yet unimaginative) opposing team’s goalie chants, a trend that started in the 2007 Stanley Cup playoffs against Marty Turco, who has had a bit of a reputation for being a choker in the playoffs. Generally, this chant was reserved for the Canucks own goaltenders, but with the arrival of Luongo, fans have been able to rage against the other team. It’s a welcome change of pace.

There’s also the LOUUUUU chant, made whenever Luongo makes a big save. This has been going on pretty much since Luongo’s arrived in Vancouver, so it’s getting ever so slightly passe, but it’s great to just LOUUUUU out the opposition whenever they get a chance.

More recently, there have been the Green Men staking out the penalty box. Inspired from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, the Green Men have been taunting and baiting players who go to the penalty box. Dave Scatchard, as shown above, was annoyed with their gesticulations and ended up throwing a towel on top of the box camera. While they won’t be able to make each and every game, when they’re there, they’re dynamite. Of course, Vancouver has had some notable fans getting attention at GM Place, including the Clapper, Heavy Eric (proof that there are worse things than the Woo) and MaximAfinogenov’s Trapper’s Delight.

Finally, there’s Towel Power, but that’s only for the playoffs. Having an entire arena waving white towels is a great visual and again, is a great show of support by the fans.

Mixed in amidst all of that, the Woo becomes yet another weapon in the crowd’s arsenal. Given that GM Place can be deathly quiet and, dare I say it, boring at times, it’s great to see SOME signs of life coming from fans at games. Especially ones that aren’t coming from a megacorp like Pepsi. Who knows? Maybe the Woo detractors can come up with something else.

If not, well, there’s some other things you can do with the Woo, besides the simple David Lee Roth ‘Woo’ that DJ Dave plays now. Here’s some other famous ‘woos’ that could be incorporated into the antics at GM Place:

Blur – Song 2
‘Woo Hoo’ instead of just ‘Woo’ could make for a nice break from games and could be used for big goals, like ties or OT goals. Most people know the song and would be able to WOO HOO along rather easily.

Transplants – Diamonds & Guns
Another ‘Woo Hoo’ song, but another upbeat one. It’s also sung a few times in a row, so it could make for some nice call and response moments at games.

Busta Rhymes – (Woo Ha) Got You All In Check
For the rap fans and also because Busta is awesome. Had I any technical proficency, I’d throw a loop of the song’s title with Willie Mitchell’s check on Jonathan Toews up on the Jumbotron. It’d be great for Canucks/Hawks games, at the very least!

Deadwood – Mr. Wu
The leader of the Chinese community in the show Deadwood, Mr. Wu only knows three English phrases: “Swedgen” (his mispronounced name of main character Al Swearengen), “San Francisco” and one other term that isn’t safe for the little ones. On one hand, he’d be great when the Canucks get scored on, on the other, it’s probably too vulgar for an NHL arena.

John Woo
The famous director could direct some jumbotron clips during stoppages in play. I think even the most vehement and vocal woo hater could get behind this particular Woo. Fin squaring off against Harvey the Hound, Woo-style? Tell me that woo-uldn’t be awesome.

Wu-Tang Clan
Anaheim’s got Snoop Dogg, who apparently is a fan of the Ducks. Fitting with the ‘Woo’ theme of this post, why not go one better and bring in the Wu-Tang Clan?

See? From the looks of it, there’s a ‘Woo’ for just about anyone. I’m sure there’s folks out there who have some other ‘woos’ I may be forgetting about. If so, post ‘em here!

It’s getting to be that time of year where everyone is cranking out their ‘Best of’ lists, recounting their favorite things from throughout the year. This year is a little bit different, though, as we’re going to be entering into a new decade this January, so there’s a bunch of Best of lists recounting the past decade. I was thinking about doing a Best Songs of the Decade list, but that’s sorta played out, as I don’t want to be the 732nd person to wax about ‘Hey Ya!’, ‘Yellow’ and ‘Mr. Brightside’ (or whatever.)

That’s when I realized that there’ve been a ton of great musical moments throughout the decade that involved songs that didn’t originate from this Decade That Was. Cover songs, a renewed interest in an artist, artistic selection for television and film, that sort of thing. There’s a bunch of good stuff to delve into while looking at some of the big trends that came about as a result of this decade. So, here goes!

#20 Limp Bizkit – Behind Blue Eyes
Like it or not, ‘nu metal’ was a part of the musical landscape this decade. I am ashamed to say that I was a fan of some of these groups, including Limp Bizkit, although I will say that any sort of interest I had in this band was long gone by the time Fred Durst got it in his head to absolutely butcher The Who’s ‘Behind Blue Eyes.’ Durst paved the way for such luminaries as Puddle of Mudd, Staind and Linkin Parks. Uh, thanks Fred.

#19 Gary Jules – Mad World

Donnie Darko, being set in the 80s, ended up having an 80s themed soundtrack. While original tunes from groups like Echo & The Bunnymen, Duran Duran and Tears For Fears, it’s Gary Jules’ cover of the Tears For Fears ‘Mad World’ that garnered the most attention: the bare bones, piano backed track turned into a minor hit and ended up getting featured in commercials for Halo 3, of all things. Donnie Darko could also be seen as huge moments for Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal, as the brother and sister landed a number of high profile acting gigs: Jarhead and Brokeback Mountain for Jake, The Dark Knight and Secretary for Maggie.  The song also got the music video treatment from acclaimed director Michel Gondry.

#18 Rick James – Superfreak
The short lived sketch comedy show from comedian David Chappelle only lasted two seasons, but it left a mark in that short timespan. One sketch, Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories, recounted Charlie Murphy’s encounter with Rick James. Rick James played himself in the present, while Dave Chappelle portrayed the younger Rick James. ‘Superfreak’ was one of two tunes briefly played in the wildly popular sketch, which spawned two memorable phrases: “Cocaine is a hell of a drug.” and “I’m Rick James, bitch!” The notoriety of being the ‘Rick James’ guy got to Chappelle as he suffered a nervous breakdown and fled to Africa for a time, while Rick James himself died of a heart attack in 2004.

#17 Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now
I’m a big Queen fan. I think Freddie Mercury is probably the greatest frontman of all time and to this day I’m sad that he was taken so young. That said, I’ll try to find any way I can to make a Queen reference. Shaun of the Dead, released in 2004, also had what was one of the best cinematic fights of the decade and is probably the best moment in the film, as the main characters attempt to pummel one large zombie while ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ blares in the background. The fact that some of the music cues sync up perfectly with the action is a great bonus.

Shaun of the Dead also capitalized on the resurged interest in the zombie flick genre, which saw remakes of George Romero’s films, 28 Days Later, an adaptation of the Resident Evil video games, the Pride & Prejudice & Zombies take on Jane Austen’s book, the Marvel Zombies comic spinoff, along with the 00s phenomenon of the flash mob with the yearly Zombie Walks.

Plus it introduced the world to Simon Pegg and that’s a GOOD THING. Check out his pre-Shaun of the Dead show Spaced if you’re a fan of geek humour.

Oh yeah, and Coldplay’s Chris Martin makes a cameo both as himself and as a zombie!

#16 Massive Attack – Teardrop
The opening theme to the FOX medical drama House and probably my favorite opening to a show outside of the Sopranos, ‘Teardrop’ is a great song and I happen to love Massive Attack, so I’ll let it creep in here. Not to mention the show has been running for just over half the decade. The show also introduced North American audiences to the glory that is Hugh Laurie and has a number of great musical moments within the show: Dave Matthews appeared as a patient of the week in one episode, while the show’s made great use of music throughout the show. My personal favorite? The Who’s ‘Baba O’Riley’ being used  in an awesome air-piano piece right before House blows off his first season antagonist, Vogler. Wonderful stuff.

#15 William Shatner – Common People
The Oughties (that’ll be the ONLY time I’ll be using that particular term in this piece!) were very good for William Shatner. His critically acclaimed stint on Boston Legal landed him 2 Emmys and a Golden Globe. He was also the subject of an awesome Comedy Central Roast and served as a celebrity spokesperson for Priceline and World of Warcraft, the latter being a game that revamped expectations of MMORPGs and has gone on to achieve mainstream acceptance.

Oh yeah, and he also released his second album with 2004’s Has Been, which saw him (along with Joe Jackson) take on Pulp’s ‘Common People’ in a method that only Shatner himself could give justice to. Hilarious little ditty in a decade that’s a far cry from Tek War and Rescue 911.

#14 Jimi Hendrix – Hey Joe
Okay, this wasn’t a Hendrix original, but it’s arguably the most well known version of the song, so don’t string me up. ‘Hey Joe’ earned some notoriety in this decade as it became a Guinness World Record after 1,572 guitarists simultaneously played the tune in a public square in Wroclaw, Poland back in May 1, 2006. I’m of Polish heritage, so I gotta get a little love in for the mother country. That said, the ‘Hey Joe’ performance has gone on to be an annual affair, with the number of guitarists growing each May 1st: 1,881 in 2007, 1,951 in 2008 and a whopping 6,346 guitarists in 2009 (horrible video quality, FYI.) Fun sidenote for my Toronto friends following this: T.O. attempted to break this record in 2009 in June. Only 1,623 showed up to play Neil Young’s ‘Helpless.’ That’s what the kids like to call a FAIL. Heck, even Hamilton showed up TO with their attempt.

#13 Harvey Danger – Flagpole Sitta
Lip dub videos were sort of a minor trend, but they did make some waves up here in Canada. The concept involves filming a video where the participants suddenly break out in what appears to be a spur of the moment performance of whatever song is being played, with the performers lip syncing along with the track. ‘Flagpole Sitta’, by 90s one hit wonders Harvey Danger, was one of the first instances of this and included performances from employees at Snorg Tees (whose ads are EVERYWHERE online), comedy site College Humour and video site Vimeo. One of the more inventive takes on the lip dub was up here in Canada, as students at l’Université du Québec à Montréal, which featured 172 students in costume, using props and using signs set to the Black Eyed Peas tune ‘I Gotta Feeling.’ Proof that creativity can arise from even the crappiest of tunes.

#12 Eminem – Foolish Pride
A song recorded back in the days of pink Alf shirts, this song from a young Marshall Mathers came back to bite him in the rear and could be seen as the only real shot fired from the Benzino/Source Magazine camp in one of Eminem’s more well known feuds. A lowlight of Eminem’s career, ‘Foolish Pride’ dealt with Em’s breakup with a black girl. He ended up dropping a rather well racial epiphet. To his credit, Eminem did address the song and admit he was wrong to do so, but this moment, in my eyes, marked a decline with the rapper and a number of lowlights in his career: the loss of his friend Proof in a nightclub gunfight and the subsequent depression and recovery he made should have provided some rich material from a man not afraid to speak his mind. Instead, fans got the rather uninspired Encore and Relapse, both albums way below Eminem’s usual gold standard.

#11 Joe Strummer – Redemption Song
The frontman for the Clash passed away late in 2002 and this song, a Bob Marley cover which saw a posthumous release, came from his work with the Mescaleros in the latter stages of his career. The album Streetcore was released after the death of Strummer and featured an interesting trio of songs. Along with ‘Redemption Song’, there was the song ‘Long Shadow’, a song that Strummer had written about Johnny Cash (interestingly enough, Cash and Strummer performed ‘Redemption Song’ together on a track that eventually saw release on Cash’s Unearthed box set) and the album’s final song, ‘Silver and Gold’, a Bobby Charles cover that dealt with making the most of one’s life before you ‘get too old’ was a bittersweet end to Strummer’s last musical release. The video for ‘Redemption Song’, set in the streets of New York not long after the 9/11 attacks, was a simple but touching tribute to one of the early voices of punk rock.

#10 Europe – Final Countdown
The 00s saw a number of great television shows get the axe, either due to poor ratings or studio executives just not ‘getting it.’ Shows like Freaks & Geeks, Joss Whedon’s Firefly, and HBO masterpieces such as Rome and Deadwood. Oh yes, and there was also the hilarious FOX comedy Arrested Development which also featured Europe’s synthy ‘Final Countdown’ as the theme for Gob Bluth’s magic show. ‘Final Countdown’ also earned the distinction of being the worst cover song of all time over on YouTube.

#9 Elton John – Tiny Dancer
Cameron Crowe’s semi auto-biographical flick, Almost Famous details the rise and downfall of a fictional band in the 70s, which mirrors Crowe’s own personal experiences of following various bands around during the same time period. The film is a great look at rock journalism, with Lester Bangs getting some facetime at the start of the flick. ‘Tiny Dancer’ comes up in a scene right after Billy Crudup’s character Russell Hammond does his ‘I AM A GOLDEN GOD’ bit and jumps off a pool while high on drugs. Russell who disappeared, leaving the rest of his bandmates to find and collect him, hop onto the bus and take off. The band had been suffering from fighting for a while now and the tension is thick on the bus,  nobody’s talking and everyone looks distressed…until Elton’s tune creeps in and everyone on the bus starts singing along, joining together in a touching moment. The only line of dialogue comes between ‘William Miller (Patrick Fugit) and ‘Band-Aide’ Penny Lane (Kate Hudson), near the end of the scene:

William: I have to go home.
Penny: You are home.

Great scene and the best music-related film released this decade.

#8 Guns ‘n Roses – Chinese Democracy
The lead single off of an album that was over 15 years in the making, that became one of the most expensive albums of all time to make and featured a lawsuit with the Offspring over the use of ‘Chinese Democracy’ as an album title. The album, released in 2008, was underwhelming and Chinese Democracy may be better known for the tongue in cheek promotion by Dr Pepper, who promised a free Dr Pepper to everyone in America if the album were released in 2008, a move which drew the wrath of Axl Rose’s lawyers. And you wonder why it took so long to get the thing released.

#7 The Beatles – The White Album
Okay…I’m somewhat cheating here, but I absolutely had to slot the Beatles in somewhere and although you might scream righteous bloody indignation at including not just an entire Beatles LP, but a freaking double album, give me a chance to explain. The Beatles loomed large throughout this decade, including a wonderful Cirque du Soleil production inspired by the Beatles, the release of the first compilation album (that went on to become this decade’s #1 selling album), a re-working of Let It Be, 2 movies that featured the Beatles exclusively (I Am Sam which was nothing but Beatles covers and the musical Across the Universe which incorporated Beatles tunes.) There was also the decision by the remaining Beatles members to license their songs and likenesses (an incredibly rare move) to the Rock Band game, a major coup for Activision and a move that helped legitimize the rhythm games as ’serious business.’

My personal favorite moment, though, came with the DJ Danger Mouse mash-up, 2004’s Grey Album, which borrowed from the White Album and Jay-Z’s Black Album, popularizing the mash-up genre alongside Soulwax alter-egos 2 Many DJs. The Grey Album also saw a ridiculous clampdown effort by the RIAA, one of the first serious examples of corporate interests clashing with artistic vision. Check out the video for ‘Encore’, which takes the mashup even further.

#6 Nirvana – You Know You’re Right
This song, the last known recorded material from the Seattle grunge band, was released in 2002 and sparked a bit of a resurgence in Nirvana, as that same year saw the controversial release of his journals and in 2009 the even more controversial decision to release Kurt Cobain as a playable character for Guitar Hero 5. Ever wondered what Kurt would look like performing Jon Bon Jovi? Well, Guitar Hero gives you the chance to find out. The video for ‘You Know You’re Right’ was one that I found to be somewhat creepy: concert footage was spliced together to make it look like Kurt Cobain had come back from the grave. I know there have been other videos that have done this sort of thing, but I’ve rarely seen it done so bloody well.

#5 Pachelbel – Canon in D
In terms of Internet trends and online forces, YouTube clearly owned this decade, despite coming onto the scene in 2005. Where else can I find fanmade videos of Naruto paired to the musical stylings of Fallout Boy, all the 80s cartoon intros I could possibly want or crazy people rambling on (and on and on) about their pet conspiracy theories? Oh yeah, there’s also a ton of interesting and amazing content out there, like Jeong-Hyun Lim’s performance of Pachelbel’s Canon. The video became an early YouTube sensation and a sign of things to come for the site.

#4 Journey – Don’t Stop Believing
So you’re David Chase. You’re at the very top of the TV food chain with some show about New Jersey mobsters called the Sopranos. You very clearly have a vision on how you want to finish the show and have stated you had envisioned how things were going to end for some time. Being one of the biggest shows of this decade, the end was drawing near. In the final moments of the series, fans were treated to Tony Soprano’s jukebox selection before cutting to an all black screen, making viewers freak out and think that their feed or PVR had crapped out on them. Journey and a black screen. Brilliant creative decision or just downright silly? You decide.

#3 Aretha Franklin – Respect
American Idol was one of the huge music stories in this past decade, as it became a ratings sensation for the FOX Network, introduced the world to Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell and was one of the early ‘reality TV’ juggernauts. Aretha Franklin’s song ‘Respect’ was the first song performed by the show’s first, and arguably most successful winner, Kelly Clarkson. I mean, does anyone else remember Ruben Studdard or Fantasia? Didn’t think so.

#2 Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up
Ah, the Rickroll. What started over on the debauched and depraved 4 Chan boards soon became a global phenomenon, as everyone from the New York Mets to MTV embraced this Internet meme. One of the first Internet pranks that didn’t involve bodily fluids or other grossout tactics, Rick Astley’s 1987 single ended up resparking interest in him years later and the joke has long since been run into the ground.

#1 Johnny Cash – Hurt
This cover of the Nine Inch Nails song, along with subsequent video, turned out to be the requiem for the Man In Black, who passed away in 2003. A haunting song, as given the treatment by Cash, you never would have thought that Trent Reznor was the one who had originally performed it, as Cash took the song and made it his completely. Cash’s American recordings gave him a new lease on life in the 90s, rekindling the career of the storied country performer, culminating in a significant amount of posthumous interest that saw the release of a biopic (Walk The Line) and three releases, including the magnificent Unearthed box set.

2009 had some fun stuff, some disappointing releases and a couple of outright horrible ones. So, here’s a look at some of my faves, plus a couple of forgettable purchases. I’m going to do this in a bite-sized format, simply because a couple of people had been bugging me about what I liked, so here you go.

Metric – Fantasies
I’ve gushed about Emily Haines and the rest of Metric before so I’ll try and spare you a repeat. Let me just say that this is a great album that continues to find me regularly hopping to it whenever I’ve got iTunes open.

Neko Case – Middle Cyclone
There’s an ad down in Spadina station here in Toronto that had this album advertised for ages. I think the last time I saw it was like back in June or so, which is amusing, since the album came out in March. I like to think that it’s because the ad people really like Neko Case and are simply doing their part to promote how amazing she is. I prefer her previous effort, Fox Confessor Brings The Flood, over this, but it is still a fantastic listen.

Lady Gaga – The Fame Monster
Man, 2009 really belonged to the females. Yeah, I’m gaga for Gaga. Great performer, great voice, awesome videos. I doubt I’ll ever reach some sort of introspective zen-high listening to her music, but goddamn if this isn’t totally fun music to listen to.

Dangermouse & Sparklehorse – Dark Night of the Soul
I love Sparklehorse. I think Danger Mouse is pretty swell. Them coming together to do an album with the likes of Iggy Pop, the Flaming Lips, Julian Cascablancas and Frank Black is magic. Not technically an official released, as DM’s record label blocked the release, but it’s out there if you know the right places to look.

Silversun Pickups – Swoon
Got into these guys when ‘Lazy Eye’ was all the rage and this, their second album, is better than their first. Another one of those albums I kept hopping over to listen to on iTunes, who knew that there were people out there who knew how to make rock albums still?

Them Crooked Vultures – s/t
Speaking of rock albums…Josh Homme, John Paul Jones and Dave Grohl making a record together? If you need to have this one explained to you, well, there’s not much hope for you, is there?

Tom Waits – Glitter and Doom Live Album
Tom Waits’ live performances are legendary. I’ve never had the privilege of catching him live, so this disc is damn near close to an essential for me. This 2 disc set features a second album of Tom Waits bullshitting around on stage and if you haven’t heard Waits telling you some ‘Tom Tales’, you really owe it to yourself to pick this album up.

Phoenix – Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
There’s always one album that stands out as a ’summer’ album for me: something you listen to nonstop when the sun is out and the weather is warm, then put away as soon as fall comes along. This is that album for 2009. Fun in musical form.

‘Meh’ Albums

Green Day – 21st Century Breakdown
Green Day team up with Butch Vig, with mixed results. American Idiot was a great album, this one, not so much. Too much piano and autotuner, of all things. Conclusion: Butch Vig should not be allowed to produce anymore albums. I also wrote a rather lengthy review, if you want to check that out.

Matthew Good – Vancouver
While this album isn’t going to slot anywhere near to Good’s worst material (in the sense that there’s no ‘Song For The Girl’ on it, for example), it simply didn’t grab me at all. Most people who know me would find this surprising, given how big of a Good fan I’ve been. Dunno what to say to that. Maybe I’m outgrowing him?

Muse – The Resistance
Much was made about Muse employing an orchestra and creating a symphonic movement and…it just all sort of fell flat for me, which is disappointing. Not as fun of an album as Black Holes and Revelations.

Worst

Weezer – Raditude
I am officially no longer part of Weezer’s target demographic. I mean, christ, here is a song called ‘In The Mall.’ How old is Rivers Cuomo again? Why is he writing songs about hanging out in a mall? Bonus: guest appearance by Lil Wayne that does absolutely nothing to improve the record.

Eminem – Relapse
This was supposed to be a great album. A disc exploring the emotional fallout of Eminem’s drug addiction and the death of his friend, Proof.  Instead we get Sarah Palin jokes and an annoying as hell accent.

U2 – No Line On The Horizon
What a boring album. Not really surprising, I guess, as U2 has been phoning it in for years now. Proof that everything Rick Rubin touches doesn’t turn into gold.

And that’s 2009. Rather sparse list this year, but living on a shoestring budget’ll do that! Feel free to share your own favorites down in the comments section.

You know how I said the music industry ran itself out of business and Jackson could be used as a poster boy for that? Here’s an economist who is basically saying the same thing. Fascinating read, check ‘er out!

Okay, I’m not trying to be a wet blanket. For better or for worse, Michael Jackson had an incredible impact on most people my age and older. Jackson’s influence on pop culture was immense, whether people knew it or not. Jackson helped to shape MTV and the music industry of the past 25 years or so, gave record label executives the idea that they could make huge piles of money by showcasing an artist. Unfortunately, there was something that was lost on most people when they tried to emulate Jackson’s success: the man was incredibly talented. The videos were used as a means of bringing awareness to Jackson, rather than serving as an ad. It’s an important distinction: initially, for Jackson, the videos were an exclamation point on an incredible product. If you took away the videos, you’d still have something amazing. For many artists that followed (and sadly, for Jackson as well) the video became representative of the artist. All polish and no depth. As I said, Jackson fell prey to this as well, as his career going into the 90s and onwards languished, despite even bigger and bigger budgets. It didn’t help that he became increasingly eccentric as time went on, becoming more renowned for his bizarre behaviour than for anything musical. I guess, you could say that Jackson could be seen as a microcosm of the music industry and, if you do, you have to wonder if this means if we can officially state that the ‘business’, as we know it, now has an official time of death.

I mean, honestly, think about it. The ‘majors’ have been losing more and more money as time has gone on, much like Jackson has. MTV has become more about spectacle and the bizarre than anything truly engaging or artistic, being more interested in foisting the likes of Steve-O or Speidi upon us (ironically, MuchMusic has gone to streaming non-stop Jackson related material since his death was announced. I’m unsure if the same can be said about MTV down in the States, but I find it to be incredibly sad that I was surprised to see such heavy coverage done for Jackson, particularly in this day and age. The last time I recalled this sort of 24/7 coverage being bestowed on a musician was with Kurt Cobain’s death) Both the industry and Jackson became embroiled in some ugly legal issues, mostly pertaining to money. For Jackson, it had mostly to do with bankruptcy, for the record labels, it had more to do with suing grandmothers and teenagers. There are a lot of parallels that can be made and, without meaning to sound incredibly ghoulish here, it is strangely appropriate that Jackson’s passing came when it did. A movement that he embodied and signified, far more than anyone else, has come to an end, just as he himself has passed away.

That’s without going into Jackson’s own personal issues, something which I think most people are unqualified to be doing. I did like what Bob Lefestz had to say in his e-mail newsletter, though: “He missed his childhood and now he’s gonna miss his old age. How fucked up is that?”

I’m not sure what the point of releasing the long list is, beyond perhaps simple promotion, but it’s nice to see what albums are given serious consideration before announcing the short list. For a music nerd like me, it’s handy to be able to have a cheat sheet of Canadian music I might’ve been oblivious about, as I’m always getting stuck trying to find new music to listen to.

Since I’ve been snubbed as a juror for the Polaris Prize, I thought I’d give my own shortlist and plug some of the music I’ve been listening to as of late as well. Also, because doing ‘list’ posts are really easy to do and I am anything if lazy. Anyway, onto my shortlist!

Metric – Fantasies

I’d like to know what Faustian deal Emily Haines and company have made that lets them continue to keep cranking out absolutely solid records. This is Metric’s third release and they haven’t really missed a beat or slowed down at all. Quite amazing, really. Haines’ voice is part of the problem, really, as she’s capable of becoming incredibly intimate, drawing you in and making it seem like you’re the only one in the world she’s addressing. Her voice is capable of provoking a range of emotions, be it wistfulness, sincerity, desire, excitement, the whole gamut. I realize that I’m veering off into sounding like a reject from Pitchfork here, but her voice is just so flexible and I adore it.  She could read the phone book and I’d sit there stupidly, loving every minute. But that’s only part of it! The rest of the band are capable of providing insanely catchy hooks and just fit together seamlessly. It really is scary how well this band gels. As great as I think Fantasies is from top to bottom, I think that Metric will be shortlisted but will end up getting the Arcade Fire treatment: too big for Polaris’ britches.

Malajube – Labyrinthes

You’ve probably heard the music of Malajube before if you’ve watched any television in the past year or so, as one of Malajube’s songs was featured in a Rogers Wireless commercial. Whatever, Malajube are a great franco-indie band and continue the tradition of artists whom I enjoy who also sing in a language that I don’t understand (yeah, sadly, despite being Canadian I’m only fluent in one of our two official languages, for shame.) They write great poppy stuff that I can just listen to and have fun with, even though I don’t understand a word of what they’re saying. Reminds me of my days when I was interested solely in metal and punk rock. HAR HAR. There’s no real buzz on Malajube AND they’re Francophone, which could either help or hinder their chances with the award…honestly, the Polaris has only been around for such a short time it is hard to say. That said, I think that there’s more than a good chance that Malajube will get shortlisted and I would love it if this great band would get some greater recognition as a result.

Chad VanGaalen – Soft Airplane

I first got to see Chad VanGaalen when he opened for Matthew Good at a show in Calgary. I believe it was around 2004, which would’ve been about five years ago. Anyway, I was blown away by him, as he was a one man act, but he was able to capture the attention of most everyone in attendance and earned a huge ovation at the end of his set…something you don’t see very often with opening acts. It may have been that he was a local boy and there was a bit of civic pride at play, but I think it’s because VanGaalen is fucking awesome. If you like minimalist indie rock, you ought to check out Soft Airplane.

Joel Plaskett – 3

I was only casually interested in Joel Plaskett until I picked up Ashtray Rock back in 2007 and then I became hooked. Plaskett’s triple album is something that I’m just starting to get into, but I’m finding it quite enjoyable thus far. Perhaps I’ll write up a longer post once I’ve gotten a better feel for it. At any rate, Plaskett was shortlisted in 2007, losing out to Patrick Watson, so look for Plaskett to get the nod again, either setting him up to win the Polaris or to become the Polaris equivalent of ‘always a bridesmaid, never a bride.’

K’Naan – Troubadour

This is the only album on the list I haven’t really had a chance to sit down and listen to, but out of all the nominees listed thus far, I think K’Naan stands the greatest chance of taking home the prize. Why would I say such a thing before I get a chance to sit down and listen to his album (and believe me, that will be forthcoming very soon)? One, because the Polaris Award is seemingly about celebrating Canadian music, regardless of genre. Are we really going to see yet another Canadian indie rock group win the Polaris? And c’mon, k-os is fucking boring, if the award is going to go to a hiphop album, K’Naan is a great choice.

Anyway, my second reason for K’Naan getting the nod is because, while I haven’t listened to the entire album, I’ve been playing the hell out of ABC’s while I’ve been out and about. I love listening to up tempo music when I’m commuting, as I use my bike as my primary means of transportation and ABC’s is off the wall. If the rest of the album is half as good as this single, my God.

The third reason that I think K’Naan stands a good chance of getting the Polaris is because of his background. Canadian music is more about music that is made in Canada: we’re a multicultural nation and it should be reflected in that. K’Naan was born and grew up in Somalia and his aunt (thank you, Wikipedia) was a rather well known Somali singer. That sort of background is part of what makes Canadian music great: it’s part of what you’re bringing to the table. You aren’t ascribing to preconceived notions of what music ought to be like. If there isn’t any room for you at the ‘table’, well, dammit, we’ll make room for you.

So yeah, those are my 5 choices of potential albums that are going to get shortlisted for the Polaris. The full list of 10 will be announced July 7th, and I’ll try to have more to say about K’Naan before then!

So, you could say that I’m a bit of a Green Day fan. Back in the 90s, I was pretty much obsessed with them, back when I was in my ‘punk’ phase (quotation marks cannot be emphasized enough here.) I think it started from a concert that was taped during the Dookie years, Green Day Live In Chicago. The live version of ‘Going to Pasalacqua’ just blew my mind and made me a fan. Dookie itself had a perfect storm of juvenile humour, rage, angst and fun that fit my adolescent self like a glove, while their followup, Insomniac was awesome. So awesome, that Insomniac is probably somewhere in my personal canon of Fucking Great Albums and I’ll probably do a longer post on that album at another time. The album channeled a lot of the frustrations and experiences they found post-Dookie: accusations of selling out, learning how to deal with live as a newlywed or as a father. Anyway, that was followed up with Nimrod, an album which was equal parts silly and dark. It also included another live show that was performed in an alleyway for a Toronto-area HMV for Muchmusic. During this whole period, I practically worshipped Green Day and they could do no wrong.

Then Warning came out, which wasn’t a bad record, as it had an interesting mix of stuff and wasn’t just them trying to recycle what worked before for them. You had juvenile rage with Dookie, a brooding ‘dark’ record with Insomniac and then a mixed, more mature bag with Nimrod. Warning, while not my favorite record of the bunch, continued to show a natural progression for the band: older, wiser, but still had that charm and energy that made you paid attention to them in the first place.

Following that came American Idiot, an album which was probably their biggest release in terms of significance, if not album sales. Along the lines of Insomniac and Nimrod, American Idiot seems to be a darker album, reacting to the current political and cultural climate in post-9/11 America. George W Bush had been elected, signalling a moment of triumph for the Religious Right of American politics, as Dubya was most assuredly ‘their man.’ Under his watch, we got to see the ‘War On Terror’ which heralded in the still-ongoing war in Iraq. We also got to see other Bush Initiatives come forth such as Patriot Act and administrative blunders such as what happened down in New Orleans with Hurricane Katrina. Opinions were polarized regarding the government, of which Bush was a part of, and folks in America (as well as a good deal of the Western world) were trying to come to grips with everything that had been going on.

While I’m not going to say that American Idiot was some profound, Chomsky-esque recording that helped shape the lives of a generation, what the album did do was tap into the feelings that a lot of people were experiencing and give them something that really resonated with them. It was affirming, if not revelatory, knowing that there were other people who felt the same way. The album didn’t just have the ‘fuck Bush, lawl’ sentiment that a lot of critics blasted it for: it also tapped into the feelings of the day-to-day life of people living in America. There’s a reason why there’s a song on the record called ‘Jesus of Suburbia’, in other words, rather than ‘GOP = Grumpy Old ‘Publicans’ or something equally insipid.

No surprise, then, that it became absolutely huge and put Green Day back on the map as one of ‘the’ bands out there in the music industry, a feat made all the more admirable as it happened in the post-Napster world.

Anyway, American Idiot landed the band another Grammy, a collaboration with U2 and gave Billie Joe the idea that covering John Lennon would be a good idea.

Things were looking very good and when the band announced that their new album, 21st Century Breakdown was going to follow in the mold of American Idiot, I was a little nervous, although interested. After all, Green Day really hadn’t tried to capture lightning in a bottle twice with their major studio records, so why start now?

Then I heard that the band had ditched Rob Cavallo, the man who had been worked with them for pretty much their entire careers. The replacement? Butch fucking Vig. Look, I’ve got no problem with Butch Vig: I’m a fan of Garbage, for one, and I happen to like Nevermind and Siamese Dream quite a bit, thank you very much, but his recent forays with bands like AFI and Against Me! were…well, I don’t want to say horrible as I’m not really a fan of either group, but they managed to alienate a good deal of both band’s respective fanbases. Punk and Butch Vig don’t seem to mesh very well in the 21st Century.

I got my filthy hands on a copy of 21st Century Breakdown and I have to say that my apprehension is at least partly justified. It’s bloody obvious as to what the band was going for with the record: basically trying to achieve the exact same result that they did with American Idiot. I can’t blame them, but it seems that instead of trying to tap into the feelings of confusion, frustration, rage, etc. that worked so bloody well on American Idiot, Green Day (or Vig, I’m not sure who to blame here) seem to be eschewing that in favor of a big epic sound, trying to look (or sound) badass rather than stumbling in and ranting incoherently, which has always sort of been Green Day’s trademark. This is probably best exemplified with the abundance of autotuner going on here, such as in most of ‘Static Age’ or the chorus to ‘21 Guns.’ I don’t know who thought that this was necessary. Compare ‘Static Age’ to ‘Church on Sunday’ off of Warning, as they’re pretty damn identical songs, but are sung radically different.

The title track is actually pretty good: it starts out slow and quiet with a distinct ‘movement’ that sounds like a Weezer c-side and then moves into a segue along the same lines as ‘Jinx’/'Haushinka’ and then into a third movement. Reminiscent of any of the longer tracks off Idiot.

Then we jump into the lead single, ‘Know Your Enemy’, which is repetitive and bland, horribly produced, which results in the whole song blurring into an unrecognisable mess. I dunno, I’m envisioning it as some sort of Oi Punk track rather than what was offered up, which was a really shallow paint by numbers tune.

And what the almighty fuck is with the overabundance of the piano on this record? I mean, I could tolerate it in parts, like ‘Tales From Another Broken Home’ off of Jesus of Suburbia when it’s like 20 seconds long and it fits into the song. But when it constitutes half a fucking song like in ‘Viva La Gloria’, ‘Last Night On Earth’, ‘21 Guns’ (the next single, hooray!) or ‘Restless Heart Syndrome’  (the latter of which comes off as being so horribly wanting to be ‘Boulevard of Broken Dreams Pt. 2′ it’s sickening) AND comes off sounding like something you’d hear on an Aerosmith outtakes tape? Barf.

On the upside, ‘Viva La Gloria?’ makes great use of piano and fits in with what the fucking band is about. I’m not saying that piano is bad or that experimenting is Wrong and Cannot Be Done, it’s just that hearing some of the aforementioned tracks was quite the ‘WTF’ moment for me.  ‘Before The Lobotomy’, which doesn’t feature piano, serves to take even more piss out of the record. That’s roughly a third of the record, if you discard the ‘intro’ non-track and…I mean, I’ve never picked up a Green Day record because I was looking for an alternative to fucking Coldplay.

That said, I absolutely love some of the tracks. ‘Christian’s Inferno’ is a great track that sounds like it could’ve come off The Network’s album before blasting straight out into full out Green Day theatrics. ‘East Jesus Nowhere’ really evokes ‘Welcome To Paradise’ in terms of sound, particularly the chorus, just showing that Green Day can still rock your fucking face off with power chords. The song is also probably Billie Joe’s strongest lyrically, which is unfortunate, as I’ve always found Armstrong to be a witty (not profound!) lyricist. ‘Peacemaker’, on the other hand, brings to mind that sort of growth I’ve talked about up above, sounding like a mutated crossbreed between a Warning and American Idiot track.

My other main complaint with the album is that the lyricism on the album falls flat for me. I really like Billie Joe as a lyricist and find that a lot of the writing for this album comes out sounding as very generic and vague. There’s nothing that really rolls around in your head like there was off of American Idiot (ex, pretty much all of ‘Jesus of Suburbia’: ‘get my television fix/sitting on my crucifix’, ‘in a land of make believe/you don’t believe in me’, etc. ‘Cigarettes and ramen and a little bag of dope/I am the son of a bitch of Edgar Allen Poe’ from ‘St. Jimmy’) I’d like to think that this is because Armstrong was trying to create a more structured narrative within the album and lost focus as a result, as he wanted to become more literal. It’s unfortunate, because it’s one of the things I really liked about Green Day. Hopefully he’ll get back to form for whatever album comes next.

If you can get past the horrible piano ditties that are obviously meant to pander to the ‘Wake Me Up When September Ends’ crowd and focus on the rock, 21st Century Breakdown is your ticket. I just hope that Green Day really doesn’t try to continue with these epic/thematic records in an attempt to be some sort of profound musical philosopher. Green Day has always been smart aleck, not smart.

Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t share this with you. If you hadn’t heard it before now, well, you’re welcome. I’m just glad that I wasn’t the only fucking one who had this jump out at him while listening to the record.

Yes please.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=104129585

Also, have I mentioned that I love Toronto recently?

http://community.livejournal.com/toronto/7894289.html

I had made mention in a couple of posts about a sort of history lesson post involving Metallica that I was going to write and I was half right. This post is going to be giving a bit of a history lesson regarding Metallica, but it is also going to be talking about how gay Metallica is. Or, rather, how Gay Metallica is. Yeah, that one’s going to be needing a bit of explanation. Hold on.

James Hetfield: flaming.

When people talk about satire, there’s really only one major name that crops up for most people: Jonathan Swift. Which is a bit of a shame, as Swift was part of a group of writers, known as the Scriblerians, which featured a number of notable writers, such as John Arbuthnot (who actually invented the character John Bull), Alexander Pope (one of England’s most celebrated poets), Thomas Parnell and John Gay. Yeah…I think you might be able to sense where this one is going.

Gay. John Gay.

Gay wrote The Beggar’s Opera, a musical play with strong satirical elements that lampooned England’s upper class by contrasting them with the thieves and whores of the lower class. Gay drew upon contemporary music when writing his Opera, eventually coming up with 69 different pieces for the finished work. Wanting to make his work familiar and accessible, Gay used a wide range of tunes, ranging from fiddle tunes to more sophisticated arrangements. Now, what in the hell does any of this have to do with Metallica? Well, one of the songs in particular was the Irish folk song, “Whiskey in the Jar”, a song that has been covered by Thin Lizzy and was in turn covered by Metallica.

Eww! Lars’ tongue is touching Kirk’s tongue!

While I’m sure that a number of folks already knew that “Whiskey in the Jar” was an Irish folk song, I’m pretty sure that there aren’t that many who knew of the connection between a well known 18^th century satirist, the song, which has been dated back to 1650, and Metallica.

What’s even more interesting, is the influence that The Beggar’s Opera has had on popular culture all the way up to the 20^th century. The Beggar’s Opera was adapted by Bertolt Brecht and Kurt Weill, bringing us The Threepenny Opera, of which another popular tune, “Mack The Knife” has become a standard for many singers in the past century or so.

So yeah, nothing too mind blowing or earth-shattering with Metallica, but it was something I had always found interesting. The joys of being an Arts major! Har har har!

How creepy! And phallic!